Heartbreaks and breakups October 8, 2007
Posted by uhuh in : Dating, Loneliness, Love, Pain, Personal , 2commentsIt really is not easy to break up with someone especially if you are in the receiving end of the deal. Meaning, you are the one being left out.
I have a friend who is currently mourning over the breakup thingie. He said he loves her but failed to show his affections fully. The girl said he has always been busy with other things and that he doesn’t have enough time for her so she decided to end it. By ending it, it appears that she is also ending the friendship. Now that hurts a lot.
My friend is actually mourning over the loss of a great person whom he loves and also over the shortcomings that he did in the past. He admits that he didn’t really give enough of his time. He failed to make her important.
Well, that’s how things sometimes happen. We never know when things begin and end. The important lesson there is to show love and give your best while he or she is still there to experience it. Regretting over unexpressed love is just the most painful thing there is in loving.
Who Handles Break-Ups Better? September 17, 2007
Posted by uhuh in : Dating, Healing, Pain, Personal, Shame , add a commentARTICLE BY DAVID ZINCZ Some relationships end with fighting. Some end with crying. Some end with sex. Some end with verbal insults (or dishes) being thrown at sound-barrier-breaking speeds. Whatever the case, break-ups can be uglier than some Dancing with the Stars performances. Let’s face it: some relationships aren’t meant to be, so a break-up averts a bigger disaster. So when the Love Boat hits the iceberg, who handles it better? My answer: Women. Several studies show that men experience more depression, distress, and anxiety after break-ups than women do. Men might like to come across as being tougher than overcooked steak after a breakup, but the truth is that they’re actually more the consistency of jelly. Believe me-I see the letters of hundreds of men desperate for advice on how to win their ex back. Here’s why some men come undone during a breakup:
Men Mask Their Pain
When a guy is dumped, his first reaction is: I’ll show her. How he sometimes does it: With a couple pitchers and a night out with the guys. In fact, 26 percent of men say that the dumped party should get drunk with the guys after a break-up, according to a Men’s Health online survey. But those beer swillers are actually in the minority: 36 percent say a guy should look at his new ex, smile, and thank her. The thing is, both of those reactions are exactly the same thing-masks for their true feelings. They can’t deal with being hurt, or angry, or bummed. It’s not until after they get past their initial reaction that men actually mourn the loss of the relationship. Women are more likely to cry soon after the breakup, and they’re also more likely to use straight talk when ending a relationship, studies find. So women face their relationship blues head on, and get them out of their systems earlier. Many men tend to repress their reaction, so it lingers like basement mold.